Love Beading??

I'm always up for new crafts, new venues for creativity, and learning new techniques! So I am so glad to have found my friend Jennifer Chasalow VanBenschoten's wonderful blog!! Check it out, and if you go now you'll have a chance to win what promises to be a great book on beading if you comment on this post on her blog!!

Does Anyone Else See the Irony?

Watching so many people polarizing lately is something I find very, very disturbing. Any time a politician (or anyone, for that matter) play on people's fears...often creating a fear that had not even actually existed before...they have moved into full-force interpersonal manipulation.

And make no mistake. That tactic works in mass audiences just as it does one-on-one. For an example, just look at Hitler's campaigns in the 1930's.

One of the things that boggles my mind is the folk who are vociferously crying out how we are losing our freedom of religion and free speech. "They are taking away your right to avow God! Soon, you won't be able to talk about God or your convictions at all!!"

While, at the same time.... they are doing just that. No one has taken that right away. Just that they can even make this claim demonstrates in no uncertain terms that they indeed do have the capability of slinging whatever version of "God" they choose! Even one I personally find goes very much against my own conception of God as a caring person who wants to foster love, kindness and inclusiveness, not hatred and intolerance.

Yup. It is totally ironic that they have made this point of driving people into a frenzy over a fear that they, in creating the fear, are totally showing to be bogus.

Boundaries and Strings

I am very big on personal boundaries, because I have lost them all at one point. I know how horrible it is to lose yourself, and solid personal boundaries are the best defense against conscious / intentional and subconscious / unintentional manipulation.

I have been told by several different people at different times in my life that I am weirdly tolerant and intolerant at the very same time. The apparent paradox is simple: I am very tolerant about what other people do with their own lives, as long as it does not impinge on mine. I am very wary of interpersonal manipulation, however, and will shut down anything that starts pinging too loudly on my manipulation radar. (Ergo, intolerant.)

One of the more subtle forms of manipulation are the subconscious strings that many people attach to their interactions with others. It is hard to truly describe, because it is such a subtle shift from normal (and healthy) social interchange.

Even so, when someone begins "banking" the favors they are doing for you... keeping a tally of the "good" or "nice" things they are doing, whether those things were asked for or not, then there is a problem.

We do need to appreciate what others do for us. But appreciation does not mean that those favors given makes crossing personal boundaries acceptable. Appreciation does not make "guilting" or "you owe me" attitudes acceptable.

You can appreciate another person and maintain your personal boundaries at the same time. It may take some practice and the other person involved may not understand (and therefore have hurt feelings because) you are protecting yourself, but it is do-able. More than that, it is really the only way to maintain your own healthy self-hood.

Destiny's Child

My spiritual life is an important part of who I am; it shapes my worldview, my attitudes, and my actions. One of the things I like about my church (TLR) is that the people there are about celebrating and deepening that relationship with God.

Yesterday, Pastor Kevin nailed something that is so vital to us --- whether we know it or not, whether it is obvious or so subtle we can't really see it fully, we have a destiny.

Here are some tidbits:

• speak into your own destiny -- in other words, talk (and think) positively about where you are going in your life. And of course, recognize you are indeed going somewhere!


• encourage yourself -- it's great when others encourage you, but you also need to perform this important task for yourself.


• do not let anything get in the way of your destiny. God has a purpose for you --- it is up to you to work hard, overcome the obstacles, and have the courage to achieve it!

I know I'm "Destiny's Child".... How about you?

Great Idea for Knitters!

I just have to pass this along! Several of us About.com Guides were chatting via email, and someone mentioned how their husband didn't understand the desire to knit socks...since they'd be hidden by boots or shoes anyway. Another Guide chimed in with this lovely answer:

"What you need is a pair of clear wellington boots! At a fiber festival I went to a couple of years ago there was a stall selling clear boots which showed off nicely a pair of handknitted socks. They did a storming trade, but I don't think the idea caught on, as I did a google search this morning and can't find anything like it - which is a shame (but perhaps a business opportunity...)." --- Kate Pullen, Guide to Rubberstamping

P.S. Kate did find a pair! "Found a pair! - http://www.fleming.flump.net/~webofwoo/shop/product.php?xProd=320&xSec=36

This is a funny idea too - turn your handknitted sock into a money box http://www.fleming.flump.net/~webofwoo/shop/product.php?xProd=354&xSec=36 "

The Need for Hope

I do my best thinking when I lay down for bed. The other night I found myself thinking about hope and how we all need it. I thought about how some folk have disdainfully comment about "irrational hopes" and look down their noses at those who acknowledge they have hope.

The hope may be financial, spiritual, regarding health, or in any number of other areas. The area is less important than having the hope itself.

When we don't have hope, we cease to function healthily. We can literally (in certain circumstances) "hopelessness" ourselves to death.

Depression is often a nasty result of losing one's hope. We sink further and further into a morass that can see no end to pain and suffering...no change for the better sometime in the future.

Having hope helps us endure. Hope can give us motivation. Hope can inspire us, and with hope, we can see that positive changes are possible. To paraphrase, "Keep the hope, baby!"

Dualing Personalities

No, you don't have to tell me about the spelling...this was a deliberate play on words. I really do mean "dualing". You may know exactly what I mean, once I've explained it. You may do it, too!

Have you ever noticed yourself dealing with a serious personal want, or even need, and yet you can't quite accept it when you get it fulfilled? Let me give you an example.... the person who wishes for recognition, but doesn't accept the recognition they get....the person who wants to be good-looking, but won't accept the evidence in the mirror that they are already looking good...the person who wants to excel at a sport, but doesn't remember the ten goals they got in a game, only the missed shots.

All these people have a desire for how they want to be seen or how they want to see themselves. Yet, when they reach the apparent goal of that desire it doesn't seem to register. There is a duality in wanting and yet not accepting the fulfillment of that want.

Sometimes...ok, possibly a lot of the time... we get in our own way, without even knowing it. If you find that you have a "dualing" want, dig around inside yourself and ask why you can't accept the thing you desire. What is standing in your way?