No, you don't have to tell me about the spelling...this was a deliberate play on words. I really do mean "dualing". You may know exactly what I mean, once I've explained it. You may do it, too!
Have you ever noticed yourself dealing with a serious personal want, or even need, and yet you can't quite accept it when you get it fulfilled? Let me give you an example.... the person who wishes for recognition, but doesn't accept the recognition they get....the person who wants to be good-looking, but won't accept the evidence in the mirror that they are already looking good...the person who wants to excel at a sport, but doesn't remember the ten goals they got in a game, only the missed shots.
All these people have a desire for how they want to be seen or how they want to see themselves. Yet, when they reach the apparent goal of that desire it doesn't seem to register. There is a duality in wanting and yet not accepting the fulfillment of that want.
Sometimes...ok, possibly a lot of the time... we get in our own way, without even knowing it. If you find that you have a "dualing" want, dig around inside yourself and ask why you can't accept the thing you desire. What is standing in your way?
The idea makes me think about what my mom would say when we were out shopping as a kid, and I'd ask for something or the other - 'cuz that's what kids do. To get out of buying whatever dumb thing I wanted, she'd say "It's good to want". I think a lot of truly ambitious people don't accept or appreciate what they gain from their hard work, because they enjoy the challenge of getting it more than actually having it. It's especially true when the things they want are not objects, but intangible things, like recognition - or the subjective nature of physical attractiveness.
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