Destiny's Child

My spiritual life is an important part of who I am; it shapes my worldview, my attitudes, and my actions. One of the things I like about my church (TLR) is that the people there are about celebrating and deepening that relationship with God.

Yesterday, Pastor Kevin nailed something that is so vital to us --- whether we know it or not, whether it is obvious or so subtle we can't really see it fully, we have a destiny.

Here are some tidbits:

• speak into your own destiny -- in other words, talk (and think) positively about where you are going in your life. And of course, recognize you are indeed going somewhere!


• encourage yourself -- it's great when others encourage you, but you also need to perform this important task for yourself.


• do not let anything get in the way of your destiny. God has a purpose for you --- it is up to you to work hard, overcome the obstacles, and have the courage to achieve it!

I know I'm "Destiny's Child".... How about you?

Great Idea for Knitters!

I just have to pass this along! Several of us About.com Guides were chatting via email, and someone mentioned how their husband didn't understand the desire to knit socks...since they'd be hidden by boots or shoes anyway. Another Guide chimed in with this lovely answer:

"What you need is a pair of clear wellington boots! At a fiber festival I went to a couple of years ago there was a stall selling clear boots which showed off nicely a pair of handknitted socks. They did a storming trade, but I don't think the idea caught on, as I did a google search this morning and can't find anything like it - which is a shame (but perhaps a business opportunity...)." --- Kate Pullen, Guide to Rubberstamping

P.S. Kate did find a pair! "Found a pair! - http://www.fleming.flump.net/~webofwoo/shop/product.php?xProd=320&xSec=36

This is a funny idea too - turn your handknitted sock into a money box http://www.fleming.flump.net/~webofwoo/shop/product.php?xProd=354&xSec=36 "

The Need for Hope

I do my best thinking when I lay down for bed. The other night I found myself thinking about hope and how we all need it. I thought about how some folk have disdainfully comment about "irrational hopes" and look down their noses at those who acknowledge they have hope.

The hope may be financial, spiritual, regarding health, or in any number of other areas. The area is less important than having the hope itself.

When we don't have hope, we cease to function healthily. We can literally (in certain circumstances) "hopelessness" ourselves to death.

Depression is often a nasty result of losing one's hope. We sink further and further into a morass that can see no end to pain and suffering...no change for the better sometime in the future.

Having hope helps us endure. Hope can give us motivation. Hope can inspire us, and with hope, we can see that positive changes are possible. To paraphrase, "Keep the hope, baby!"

Dualing Personalities

No, you don't have to tell me about the spelling...this was a deliberate play on words. I really do mean "dualing". You may know exactly what I mean, once I've explained it. You may do it, too!

Have you ever noticed yourself dealing with a serious personal want, or even need, and yet you can't quite accept it when you get it fulfilled? Let me give you an example.... the person who wishes for recognition, but doesn't accept the recognition they get....the person who wants to be good-looking, but won't accept the evidence in the mirror that they are already looking good...the person who wants to excel at a sport, but doesn't remember the ten goals they got in a game, only the missed shots.

All these people have a desire for how they want to be seen or how they want to see themselves. Yet, when they reach the apparent goal of that desire it doesn't seem to register. There is a duality in wanting and yet not accepting the fulfillment of that want.

Sometimes...ok, possibly a lot of the time... we get in our own way, without even knowing it. If you find that you have a "dualing" want, dig around inside yourself and ask why you can't accept the thing you desire. What is standing in your way?

Bitterness -- A Choice

The other night, I was faced with several problems all coming up all at once. I felt overwhelmed by it all. I wanted to run away -- but couldn't. As I tried to deal with my feelings of anger and resentment, I suddenly could see I had the choice to become bitter about it all...It was as if I stood on a hilltop and looked out over what could be...and what I could become.

It was a sobering experience...and one that really got me thinking.

Bitterness is a choice. A lot of folk don't seem to realize that, but it is. We can either choose to allow disappointment and frustration merge with anger, or.... We can analyze why we are disappointed, frustrated, or angry. Once we know and understand the root reason(s), we can come up with options.

An important point here is that there isn't always something you can do about the things that are stressing you. Sometimes the best options are one of adapting our outlook, our expectations, how we reward ourselves (as in, how we make ourselves feel better...not necessarily a tangible reward at all), and --- probably most important of all --- our attitudes.

Something else in this that I've noticed.... People who choose bitterness, well, they are also choosing a victim's stance. The external world is beyond their control (they feel), and therefore nothing they do will help them in any way or to any degree whatsoever.

People who choose not to move into bitterness, however, are choosing a survivor's stance. Because the way to overcome the temptation into bitterness is to begin working the problem.... Problem-solving is very definitely both a way to feel better (about yourself and the world) and very much a part of a survivor's ability to maintain mental resiliency.

As for me...well, the problems aren't all sorted out, and a few more got dumped on my plate yesterday. But I've chosen to bolster my attitude of acceptance, my desire to help others, and use all this to hone my problem-solving skills. And that makes me smile once again!

Forced on Vacation

Well, I was visibly reaching my limits. My family put their collective foot down last week and sent me on a mini-vacation over the weekend. *ahhhh* It really was a very-much needed rest.

I spent nearly all my time just sitting outside listening to the wind in trees, watching cloud shadows, and enjoying the birds and small wildlife around Sleep Creek Mountain Inn. Oh, interspersed with happy bouts of voracious reading. Two books in two days. *happy grinning sigh* Just the way I like it!

My Story: Cess' First Big Move

Recap: I was asked to write to a fellow I'll be referring to as Cess Pool by my grandmother. The reason was that he was in prison and had asked her to help him find Christian pen-pals. Cess and I began corresponding.

After a couple of months, Cess and I were writing at least once a week, but usually two to three times a week. Then came a shocker...he sent me a photo of himself --- handsome, bright smile --- and he asked me if I would ever consider him as a boyfriend.

Mentally and emotionally I came to a dead stop. I had not dated in high school or college... I'd always felt out of step with my classmates in high school and although I'm naturally friendly, I'm also very comfortable being by myself. In college, I had a bunch of friends but was more focused on studio work. This "offer" floored me.

I hadn't seen it coming, I'd been isolated to the house by my arthritis for nearly two years, and I wasn't adept at "dating games" anyway. Cess had assessed my vulnerabilities and hit me just where I was most vulnerable.

Not that I knew it at the time....

I showed the letter to my mom and asked her opinion. She was thrilled. I think she was happy to see a "Christian" man taking a romantic interest in her tomboyish and in-pain daughter. We agreed that I should pray about it before making a decision, though.

I was doing well enough that I was able to walk down the road a bit, toward the places I had always found refuge, peace, and spiritual connection before. I wasn't able to get to them (as they were in the woods surrounding the road), but just being outside and having the trees to either side of me was wonderful after so long inside.

I prayed that God would guide me, then listened. I tried to let everything empty out of myself, but found that hard to do with a sense of burgeoning excitement that someone had found me --- ugly duckling me! --- attractive.

I tried again to get my emotions to tamp down, but they only clamored more. It increasingly felt right. After about an hour, I had reached a decision to tell Cess I was interested, but that we still needed to know each other better.

Cess' first big play had been successful.