The Need for Hope

I do my best thinking when I lay down for bed. The other night I found myself thinking about hope and how we all need it. I thought about how some folk have disdainfully comment about "irrational hopes" and look down their noses at those who acknowledge they have hope.

The hope may be financial, spiritual, regarding health, or in any number of other areas. The area is less important than having the hope itself.

When we don't have hope, we cease to function healthily. We can literally (in certain circumstances) "hopelessness" ourselves to death.

Depression is often a nasty result of losing one's hope. We sink further and further into a morass that can see no end to pain and suffering...no change for the better sometime in the future.

Having hope helps us endure. Hope can give us motivation. Hope can inspire us, and with hope, we can see that positive changes are possible. To paraphrase, "Keep the hope, baby!"

Dualing Personalities

No, you don't have to tell me about the spelling...this was a deliberate play on words. I really do mean "dualing". You may know exactly what I mean, once I've explained it. You may do it, too!

Have you ever noticed yourself dealing with a serious personal want, or even need, and yet you can't quite accept it when you get it fulfilled? Let me give you an example.... the person who wishes for recognition, but doesn't accept the recognition they get....the person who wants to be good-looking, but won't accept the evidence in the mirror that they are already looking good...the person who wants to excel at a sport, but doesn't remember the ten goals they got in a game, only the missed shots.

All these people have a desire for how they want to be seen or how they want to see themselves. Yet, when they reach the apparent goal of that desire it doesn't seem to register. There is a duality in wanting and yet not accepting the fulfillment of that want.

Sometimes...ok, possibly a lot of the time... we get in our own way, without even knowing it. If you find that you have a "dualing" want, dig around inside yourself and ask why you can't accept the thing you desire. What is standing in your way?

Bitterness -- A Choice

The other night, I was faced with several problems all coming up all at once. I felt overwhelmed by it all. I wanted to run away -- but couldn't. As I tried to deal with my feelings of anger and resentment, I suddenly could see I had the choice to become bitter about it all...It was as if I stood on a hilltop and looked out over what could be...and what I could become.

It was a sobering experience...and one that really got me thinking.

Bitterness is a choice. A lot of folk don't seem to realize that, but it is. We can either choose to allow disappointment and frustration merge with anger, or.... We can analyze why we are disappointed, frustrated, or angry. Once we know and understand the root reason(s), we can come up with options.

An important point here is that there isn't always something you can do about the things that are stressing you. Sometimes the best options are one of adapting our outlook, our expectations, how we reward ourselves (as in, how we make ourselves feel better...not necessarily a tangible reward at all), and --- probably most important of all --- our attitudes.

Something else in this that I've noticed.... People who choose bitterness, well, they are also choosing a victim's stance. The external world is beyond their control (they feel), and therefore nothing they do will help them in any way or to any degree whatsoever.

People who choose not to move into bitterness, however, are choosing a survivor's stance. Because the way to overcome the temptation into bitterness is to begin working the problem.... Problem-solving is very definitely both a way to feel better (about yourself and the world) and very much a part of a survivor's ability to maintain mental resiliency.

As for me...well, the problems aren't all sorted out, and a few more got dumped on my plate yesterday. But I've chosen to bolster my attitude of acceptance, my desire to help others, and use all this to hone my problem-solving skills. And that makes me smile once again!